And the decade comes to an end

It’s the end of the decade and its time we relish the memories, revisit the past, look back at your disappointments, and of course, let go of your sorrows. The years between 2010-2019 have been one hell of a ride. It unleashed a new me, a better me, in fact. I will be listing out all the major things that occurred, this decade. I initially thought of typing down 10 things (one major moment from each year). But no, I wouldn’t want to limit myself to a number. So, go on, read...

1. Work. 2010 marked the year I graduated from my masters. It is also the year I joined work. I realised my dream of becoming a journalist. And what a coincidence... I took up my first job at the TOI and I am back to TOI Chennai now (briefly worked in DNA Bengaluru, & TOI Bangalore for a few years).
2. Love Life. The biggest breakup of my life happened in this decade. After being in an on-and-off relationship for over six years, my ex and I finally let go of our toxic relationship. But, we also made peace a couple of years later. He’d come to our house for a party, too. Ex-lovers’ goals, much?
3. Bangalore. That city groomed me in every possible way. The magical place helped me find friends, who brought out the best side in me that I didn’t know existed. I learnt to be independent and confident. Bought my first bike, mobile phone, laptop etc. I wasn’t afraid to ride in the nights, partied hard, learnt the ropes and made friends for life. This was also the time I connected with my first sister on a whole new level. For the kind of lifestyle that I was exposed to, she kept me grounded. And big love to my niece, with whom I've become closest to (read: she approves my 'Gram posts now and shares her boyfriend problems).
4.  Twins. My second sister delivered two baby girls (twins). Being with them gave me the greatest joy. I became an aunt for the second time and no happiness could match that. Well, it wasn’t just about taking cute baby pictures, it taught me a lot… about motherhood, parenting, and unconditional love. Now that they are seven years old, I bug the shit out of them by asking ‘How much do you love, Jaanu?’ And they answer patiently.
5. Weight loss. With all that partying and adopting a horrible lifestyle, I’d put on tons of weight. I went to a random party, met a random page-three celebrity, who gave me the contact of her dietitian. And that day changed my life. If there’s one thing that I learnt through this phase, it would be determination. If you are determined, you can conquer the world. I am glad that fitness has changed me forever. Oh yes, I am not in my 'fittest' right now, but I am always focused on leading a healthy lifestyle. I am never going to give up on health. (That makes for a good hashtag, no?).
6. Death of a friend. He was my confidante, friend and my soulmate. He helped me sail through my breakup like a breeze. With his humour, wit and charm, I was smiling... until the day I heard about his demise. Sorry, I couldn’t speak to you for a whole year before you died. You mean a lot to me, Sai. I miss you and think about you always.
7. Found love again. Oh yes, I’ve had my share of 'stories' in ‘Luru, but I did find a boy, a guy from my city (Madras), albeit, romanced in B'lore. Also, married the same person. He’s the best. Period. Talk about happy endings, eh?
8. Moved into our house. One of my biggest dreams was to live in my own space. After we got married, I made that dream a reality. I have a passion for home décor and loved setting up my house. I keep changing them, buy new things, remove a few things and move the décor here and there. I love it and won’t stop.
9. Appa’s heart attack. The worst phase ever. It taught me that no matter how much you respect your body (he was a teetotaller), stress can ruin your shit. The worst one month of my life. But we sailed through. Love to parents always.
10. New family. In India, they say that you are not just married to your partner, but to his family. But I think I lucked out in this department. My in-laws are a sweet bunch. My MILs (plural for a reason) are kind, encouraging and supportive. MIL2 has been especially kind, loving and very encouraging of my career and other life decisions. I had a jolly good time with one of my SILs when she was at our home during her pregnancy. I've got three of them and all of them have been wonderful to me, especially that little one, with whom I thought I would never get along with. But plot twist, it turns out that I get along with her the most. The cutie with the biggest heart gave me the biggest gift of my lifetime. Stealing Gautham Menon’s line here – ‘You need not birth children to be a mother’. Take that kiss, I say. Also hugs to my newest buddy Maddy.
11. Ectopic pregnancy. I love babies and had the best time with three of my nieces (when they were babies). Naturally, I was drawn to having one of my own. I was very happy when I found out I was pregnant. But that dream went by in a flash. Hardest time of this decade. It broke me down and brought out the worst in me. I was depressed, unhappy, jealous and angry. I am in a much better space now. While it did take a toll on me for almost a year, I’ve been feeling great now. Also, do I want a baby now? Hmm…
12. Made friends for life. You make best friends for life in this period. While I am glad that my school gang is still intact, I also met some interesting people and befriended them, this decade. I fought with a college bestie, but patched up with her. As my father puts it, we will always be the JJ-Sasikala combo. I also made friends at work (Bengaluru), some of them whom I still look up to. I even met my darling life mentor (also my then weight loss inspector) in the US. Also, the cutest boy who I met during Fresh Face. He came for my wedding, meets me mostly when he comes to India (lives in the US now) and drove all the way from Washington to NYC to see me. Jealous, much? Also, the greatest singer/friend who made me meet my hubster. All of us need friends like her. Not leaving behind some wonderful besties I made in CT. People with golden hearts, without whom I couldn’t have survived - Vambu Kootam. Lastly, the friends I made through my hubster. Five years ago, they were his friends. And now, they are my friends. We share a separate equation, and it’s got nothing to do with hubby man. I am happy that they look out for me at every single instance, especially that one golden woman, with a big, big heart.
13. Travel. It was in 2011, I made my first trip to Delhi. I did a family trip to Jaipur, Agra, Haridwar and Rishikesh (The views come right in my front of me as I type this out). I also did my solo trip to Dehradun and Mussorie. Scary at first, but enjoyed. I made my first international trip this decade. Thailand. Well, it was my honeymoon, gaiz. I also went to Singapore with my family and friends. If I am given an opportunity to move out of India and settle somewhere, I would pick Singapore. Also, I made the biggest trip of my life to the US of A. The city I’ve seen in movies, romanced with and had it as part of my dream destination, was finally ticked off. I landed in a snow-covered New York. I did every touristy thing, went to Cleveland for classical music festivals and went straight to Phoenix to meet my sister. I went to Grand Canyon, lower antelope canyon, Sedona and lived a full life in those 10 days there. I ended my month-long trip in Chicago. Best money spent. I also went Bombay (for a friend), Munnar (with a friend), Kochi and Calcutta (for a friend) for the first time.
14. Crazy Mohan’s death. It is a pity that I got to know him in this decade and lost him in the same decade. Crazy Mohan sir was one person I enjoyed interviewing time and again. He was so full of life, simple, genuine and had no airs whatsoever. Imagine giving some of the best plays, best dialogues and lines that makes you laugh till today... yet he didn't have any attitude. I will miss that laughter, infectious energy and insight he had about life. Having spoken to him multiple times, he showed me all his paintings one day and even gifted a picture of his favourite painting to me. "Nee ennoda ponnu maari. Unakku nalludhan nadakum. Idha nee frame pannum," he said. My favourite bit was whenever he spoke, he never failed to end the call with his favourite, 'Take it easy… life is crazy.' A gem, gone too soon.
15. Me. Like I mentioned before, this decade brought about a pleasant transformation in me. In school and college, I couldn’t really figure out the person I was. I was pretty much an introvert in school, and now, an ambivert. I am inching towards becoming an extrovert (distant dream, though, coz I still cannot handle having more than 8 people at home. Crowd-o-phobia). I’ve become confident, independent and constantly ensure that I have a stable mental health. As you grow up, you end up having more responsibilities. And with responsibilities comes stress. You met people, have expectations and they break your heart. And then at work, you will be embroiled in a whole lot of politics that your little heart can’t handle. And of course, there are deadlines to be met, and striking work-life balance. These could take a toll on you. I have been worn out on so many instances. So, I’ve learnt to keep my mind healthy. Also, coming to the “me” part, I have to admit I did some horrible things - intentionally and unintentionally, and have been in situations that made me look like a fool. Well, its all a learning. A little self-appreciation doesn’t hurt, so let me just say that I did pretty OK this decade. I hope to do better in the coming years. 

To my limited readers, thank you for taking time out to read this. Wish you all a happy 2020. Smash it out, I say! 

Regards, 
Shara